Jun 6, 2011

The Coke Cure

When I was a child, a woman sitting a couple pews ahead of us in church, had a hypoglycemic attack due to diabetes.  Someone rushed down to the old Coke machine in the basement and brought her a Coke upon a doctor in the congregation's orders. Once she had the sugar from the Coke, the woman perked up considerably and all was well from my child's eyes.

This experience has led to strong belief that a cold coke can cure most ailments. Especially when you got kind of woozy when the temperatures are hitting nigh 100 every day.  You know that point in the afternoon when a headache comes on, and you just feel a little woozy?  Or you have been out running errands all morning, and just start feeling a touch faint.

Level One is:
1. cold diet coke over ice
2. with a straw

Level Two:  If that doesn't work, one must upgrade to a real coke.  Poured over ice, with a straw.

Level Three:  Still not well?  Check your ice.  Rabbit pellets might be what you need.

Level Four:  If peakedness continues, a real coke in a bottle is necessary. 

If all else fails, proceed to Level Five- homemade vanilla coke, with real coke, over rabbit pellet ice, with a straw.  Mmmmm.  I might be feeling a bit peaked right now, and have to make a run to Long's Drugstore for my coke cure.

The other Sunday morning, feeling a bit weak, after a engagement party and birthday party the night before, faced with the prospect of 10 wild 4 and 5 year old boys, I made a mad dash to the coke machine in the basement.  The cokes are no longer a quarter, nor are they in glass bottles.  However, it still did the trick.  I was ready to face the hordes of crazed boys with a smile.

In college, my daily Diet Coke consumption was measured in gallons.  I've gotten it down to one a day now, but it is a necessary part of my day.  A medical necessity, right?

9 comments:

  1. I too believe in the Coke Cure ;)

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  2. Coca Cola was first introduced on the market as a medicine, check out the wikipedia page for the history

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  3. I believe it's medicinal as well, it's my daily dose of caffiene right now. And, I truly believe that Mexican Coke is the best flavor.

    Also, to the previous comment, I think it had coca*ne in it, right? Hence, the name?

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  4. There is NOTHING better when I am feeling ill than an ice cold coke.

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  5. I whole-heartedly agree with the 'Coke Cure!" Usually after a bad day, I run to Sonic and get a giant Diet Vanilla coke to cure my ailments.

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  6. A "monthly" migraine can always be cured by eating half of a large pepperoni pizza, drinking a real Coke (pellet ice is always preferred) and taking a nap with a heating pad on your forehead. Trust me, I'm a nurse.

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  7. haha! I love that remedy. Real coke in a glass bottle cures most things.

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  8. Level 2 cures morning sickness!

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