Taking Pride in Your Housework

So, as y'all know, things are a bit hectic in my life this spring.  A couple weeks ago, I was super stressed with work and obligations, and feeling completely overwhelmed.  I was talking on the phone with Hubs, who was in Asheville for work.  Staring at the clumps of Buddy hair festooning my hardwoods, and the empty Gatorade bottles laying around (take a guess- not mine!), I decided something had to go.  Obviously, not Buddy or the Gatorade bottle leaver-arounder.  Just picking up after the two of them.

"Hubs, I am really stressed out right now, but I know what I want for Valentine's Day and our anniversary.  I want you to pick up around the house more, and run a vacuum.  While you are chilling on the couch, and I am digging through the basement archives of Knoxville's oldest home on a board workday, I need you to pitch in.  This would help me so much, and is all that I want"

So what do you think his response is?  I'm expecting, "Of course honey.  I know you are so busy, I would love to help you."  Obviously this is the correct answer.

Three male readers, please make a note, if your significant other calls you almost in tears, and begs you to wipe a counter every so often, do not say the following:

"Maybe you should cut out going to Jazzercise and working out with Russ.  Then you would have more time to get housework done"


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My thoughts were not fit to reply or to type in a public forum, so I gave a muffled yelp and hung up the phone, turned it off, and immediately drew a relaxing bath, hoping it would prevent me from driving over the mountain to murder my unsuspecting husband.

Y'all, I work out probably 4-5 hours a week.  I wish it was more, but lately I don't have time.  It is the only thing that keeps me sane when stress threatens to give me an ulcer.

Yeah, he's pretty lucky he's still alive.  Have to keep him that way, so I can continue rehash the time he told me to cut out exercise so he doesn't have to load the dishwasher.

Looking Forward To. . .

In addition to all the bridesmaid-ing I have coming up, the thoughts of the following things are getting me through the impending doom that is my Junior League rummage sale next week. A rummage sale which I am on the committee for, which has over 5,000 people come each year.  For which I will be working at from 6 AM before work, on my lunch break, until 9 at night from next Wednesday on.  Shudder.

Anyhoo,  the good stuff-

First up, a thirtieth birthday party for MOH!  Hurrah!  It's at my home, so I will actually be back in the kitchen with tons of recipes for fun apps for y'all (I have been on a draconian diet lately, which explains my lack of cooking).  We're having dinner and guest list planning session Friday night, replete with a lot of wine.  Take me right back to high school college.

A trip to Dallas to see Baber tie the knot with these lovely ladies (from Anner's tacky ski party earlier this winter), plus Hess as well.   I never get to have enough time with my dearest friends from college, but a girls weekend will help satisfy my "a-master" friend deficit greatly.

Ha, I'm dying laughing at these pics.  I haven't been to Italy since backpacking around with AK and Abby Dids when we were 19.  Ha, I can't believe we made it out of Europe in one piece.  Well, it was a much chunkier piece than when we arrived, but we did.

So Florence with the fam, 10 days, side trips for the "kids" to Cinque Terre and Venice?  Yep, I'm pretty excited. . . what am I going to pack?  I'm thinking some circle skirts, black cigarette pants, and a cute trench coat.  Hmmm, wonder where this vision is coming from . . .

Then upon my return, it's shower central!

First up, a round the clock at my house for Em, my future SIL, and an engagement party.

The next day will be hopefully the greatest shower of all for Peg.  This gorgeous lady is having TRIPLETS!  I am over the moon, and so excited to throw this shower (along with a bevy of beauties also hosting), because not only is it for three precious little babies, she is having three girls!  I squee every time I think about it.

So instead of hyperventilating about the fact that I don't have a spare minute until June, I'm celebrating all the fun that is coming!  Although, there's probably still some panic attacks to come.

Sitcom Musings

Hello dear readers!  Do you remember me?  Vaguely?

I've been suffering from a case of the flu, which led to a dire case of computer phobia.  I think I am suffering from exhaustion, and not in the fun Lindsey Lohan, I have spent a week at the Château Marmont partying like it's the seventies and I am every member of Led Zeppelin way.

Nope, more in a "I am so excited for all these social and volunteer events I have going on, I just wish that I could lay on the couch and read a book" exhaustion.

So less sex, drugs and rock and roll, and more showers, opera and Junior League.

I am getting old. 

Anyway, once fully recovered from the flu to move myself to couch from my bed, (while being nursed by a very attentive Buddy Bear, naturally), I caught up on some favorite sitcoms which led me to a few revelations.

Namely, I still want my marriage/family life to emulate the Cosby Show.  When Hubs starts eating meatball subs at odd hours, and putting on jazz while wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, I'll know we are on the right track.  If our future children put on shows for my parents involving lip syncing to Ray Charles. . .well, my life will pretty much be complete.

Rue McLanahan celebrated a birthday this week.  I have always wanted to be Blanche, but I am suuucch a Rose.  Sigh.

Finally, why they can't they reboot something good like Designing Women.  I mean don't pull a Bev Hills New Sauce, but give me a show about Southern women, why don't you?  Yes,  I am in a fly-over state.  I don't live in California or NYC, and occasionally would like to see something where I am!  (Florida doesn't count).  I think Mary Kay Andrews books would make a darling sitcom!  Let's get on it please!

Speaking of opera and television, I was tickled to death to note on Monday that Blair was scheming to get on the opera board. . . now if I could just have her wardrobe.

Adiós to Zumba

So Mama and I, after getting all hyped up about Zumba by reading the rave reviews y'all dear-hearts gave me, tried a class last night.

Hmmmmpph.

I don't know if it was a weird class or what, but I felt like I was in a Mexican restaurant.  All this fun Top 40 music y'all spoke of? 

Not in our class.

Substitute college students for these seniors and you will somewhat get the picture.  Part of the problem was that the class was in a dark room at the Y, with awkwardly placed columns so you couldn't see the instructor.  The instructor who had to consult her notes, and who's mike didn't work.

I'll think I'll stick to Jazzercise.

The Highlight of My Weekend

I had a lovely weekend jam packed with volunteer work and events. Some dear friends were nice enough to include us in their box for the basketball game Saturday, enabling me to spend the majority of the game talking to Liz.  Sadly, my focus was not on the game, although the halftime show managed to fully engage my attention.

Multitudes of children!

On Unicycles!

They are jumping rope ON UNICYCLES!  I can't even jump rope on my feet.  I informed Hubs that these children need to be present at my 30th birthday party.  Hmmmm, Skatetown USA is possibly the only venue which can contain their act.  Do they sell beer at the roller rink?

So, after a busy weekend, and a wild Sunday School class consisting of TEN boys and 3 girls, with whom i accidentally incited a Superbowl chanting riot, Hubs and I decided to skip out on Superbowl festivities, and take it easy.  We fell asleep just after Fergie Ferg.  They should have gotten the unicycle children.  I definitely would have stayed awake then.

I am adoring reading all of your answers to my survey!  Keep 'em coming ladies.  I might even make a graph of the results. . .

Compatability Quiz Time

Remember those quizzes in YM or Seventeen- the answers were so obvious as to which was the best, or "you're doing okay", or "um, you really need some help".  I love more adult versions of those quizzes though, like Myers Briggs (I'm an ENFP, what about you?). 

And then there's my favorite section of Vanity Fair- the Proust Questionnaire.  Such pressure!  You don't want to be the dud celebrity with the trite answers, do you?   I also love "My Stuff" in Vanity Fair.

Mmm, I always try to imagine how mine would sound- "Mascara- none, Andrea Lash #53 falsies".  "Nail Polish- Toes always OPI Thrill of Brazil, fingers usually pink, like Jackie O. said"  "Pet- Golden Retriever" "Sheets- must be white 400 thread count"  etc.

Anyway, when I was skipping my workout, and stressing but not sleeping this morning I came up with my own quiz.   A compatibility quiz of sorts.

Ready?

1.  Beatles or The Rolling Stones?
2.  Movies in the Theater or at Home?
3.  Bath or Shower?
4.  Early Bird or Night Owl?
5.  Feline or Canine?
6.  Sweet or Salty?
7.  Inside or Outdoors?
8.  Homebody or Socialite?
9.  Beach or Mountains?
10.  Favorite:

• Food
• Book
• Season
• Top Five Albums if you are stranded on a desert island (no best-of compilations please).

11.  Cow or Pig?
12.  Spice or Sass? 

I have no idea what that last one means.  I just wanted to end on an even number.  Happy Friday!  Can't wait to read your answers!

A Desperate Plea

Summer.  I'm ready for you.  Please be fashionably early this year.  I promise I won't complain, even about my hair is the humidity.  Pinky swear!  Loveyoumeanit!

What's Happening?

Miss Purvis' engagement party in Atlanta- a tacky ski party theme replete with the remnants of the Atlanta snow and ice storm.  I'm sporting neon green ski socks, do you see me? (click to enlarge)

I was lucky enough to benefit from Anne's lovely hospitality, (thank you Stephensons- hosts with the mosts).  Best of all?  Her new monogrammed guest towels-

I don't know why my pictures from Gainesville are so fuzzy- perhaps my camera was feeling reflective of the number of glasses of wine I consumed?
Kara, TRON (who is Kinger's tron as well), and myself.

Kinger, the guest of honor, and Hess.

Seeing the sights of downtown Gainesville.  In the wee hours of the morning, naturally.

Now, you may be wondering was Buddy was during these jaunts to Georgia Hubs and I have been taking.
He has had his first slumber party with his best friend/cousin/neighbor, Moose.

Brother is also the proud dad to a rescue golden.

We took both dogs to our property on the other side of the river Sunday upon my return.  Buddy was in heaven.  Can you tell?



Such beautiful weather.  The dogs blended perfectly with the brush, and it was interesting to be out there with no leaves on the trees.

I'm officially ready for summer.  I do appreciate that taste of winter though.  It really makes me appreciate the rest of the year.

Missing Things

1.  I saw a specialist last week about an unrelated medical issue.  Turns out I have a previously undiagnosed birth defect, and possibly only have one kidney.  Is that not bizarre?  I blame the vast quantities of spicy garlic cheese dip my mama consumed in my first trimester.

2.  Now this sounds hypocritical after my recent 7-9 veggie non-diet post, but I'm about to have to do a little dieting.  Prepare for some crankiness.  I do have several weddings coming up, and we all know that bridesmaid dresses are generally not the most flattering of garments.  I'm tempted to do Kate Middleton's diet, which sounds absolutely insane, and involves an "attack phase' of three days of protein.

3.  Well, it's a good thing I didn't break my spending freeze to purchase that breathtaking sequin number for Cotillion.  I just ran through some things, and won't be able to go.  I'm super super disappointed, but my Junior League event is that weekend.  I was going to try and do both, but there is really no way I can sneak out, don black tie, party until the wee hours, then wake back up at six and work my tail off.  Now repeating my mantra "you are being a mature person, you cannot do it all, there will be other cotillions" to stave off disappointed I-love-seeing-Hubs-in-a-tux-tears.

4.  We just got back from Gainesville, GA for a delightful engagement party (pics to follow).  In the next couple months I'll be heading to Atlanta for another engagement party, Dallas for a wedding, Italy for 10 days with my family, Athens for a wedding (Georgia not Greece), Reynolds Plantation for a wedding, and then back to Athens for a weddings.  Based on this schedule I'm going to have to sadly decline intermittent bachelorette parties in New Smyrna, New Orleans and Atlanta (I love you Kinger, Miss Purvis and Em- I just can't do it!)  Repeat mantra "you are being a mature person, you cannot do it all".

 So, I am missing:
1) 1 kidney
2) 1 Cotillion
3) 3 bachelorettes
4) and hopefully a few pounds to trim up for wedding season.

What are y'all missing lately?