Second Verse, Not Quite the Same as the First

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Okay, I might have gotten a little too assured in my ability to go to the office.  Someone asked me if it was hard being back at work this morning, and I burst into tears in the elevator!  Mortifying!  Luckily the asker was discreet, and pretended not to notice as a frantically wiped my eyes.

I ended up running home around lunch to feed her and have a quick cuddle.  Much more enjoyable than pumping.


It's so difficult as a woman- truly we are damned if we do, damned if we don't when it comes to motherhood and working.  And honestly, most of us don't really have a choice.  Bills need to be paid. College funds need to be started.  But it is so incredibly difficult to leave your little one.  

Some friends of mine were anxious to get back to work- they need that interaction.  I'm not sure if I do or not, but I hate the disconnect I feel from my baby- I don't know if she smiled or fussed after waking up from her second nap.  My situation with working from home a couple days a week, and having a sitter the other three is pretty much ideal.  It doesn't make it any easier though. . . now I am paranoid that Dell Harper will like her sitter more than me.  Sigh.

However, I think every mama needs to do what is right for them.  Working or staying at home- whatever is best for the individual, because a mother who is happy with her own situation is best for her children (see Betty Draper for the antithesis of this).

4 comments:

  1. It gets easier. It really does.

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  2. It does get easier. And, in regards to your worry that she'll prefer the sitter to you, there is no one else in this world more tuned into her than you are. You are her mother and nobody can compete with that.

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  3. I don't have a little one yet, but plan to go back to work when I do. Thanks for honestly sharing your journey! I am glad you have flexibility and good help. Good luck!

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  4. Yes, we often feel that push and pull throughout motherhood. I'm a mom who works outside the home. Believe me, your baby will not prefer the sitter to you! But, I know exactly how you feel. It does get better, and you definitely make the most of the time you have with your kids.

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